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Ofra Bloch / Scores=16 votes / 5,9 of 10 / country=USA / 1 H 35min. Tabs please. I didn't go to the funeral. I was so torn. I didn't think I could see you like that. And I knew I wouldn't know anyone there. I didn't feel like I'd belong. Who was I, the girl who hurt you, broke your heart? Or simply an unknown well wisher who showed up. If I cried, if I broke down, I would have been ashamed. How dare I, when your parents, your family. your current girlfriend were all there to grieve you. We dated for 2 years and I never met your parents. Isn't that weird? You met all of my family. I don't know why, it just never happened. But you told me all about them. I loved to hear all the stories and see selfies of you and your nephew, oh you loved him so much, it made it easy to see our future together, easy to picture those same selfies but with our kid. I guess I never met them because you always came to see me, I rarely came to your town. Nearly a four hour drive but you never complained. Well, maybe a bit. You'd say the scenery was boring. But it helped that we talked on the phone every minute of that drive until you pulled up to my house and I could jump into your arms. You were so eager to make me happy, for us to have a life together. I remember our first kiss, God I remember talking to my friends after you dropped me off. It was like a movie, I told them. And even all these years later I can see it so clearly, and it is beautiful. Our first date, you had to help me climb into that huge pickup of yours you loved so much. I thought it was silly at first but I loved it too, I loved hearing you talk about your passions and, of course, that pickup brought you to me. You took me to dinner and a movie. We'd been talking for so long before even meeting the first time, and moved so fast, we'd already fallen in love before the first date. In the movie theater, right as the opening scene of the movie started you leaned over and whispered in my ear 'what would you do if I still loved you. I didn't answer. But I knew. I loved you then, I really, truly did. Even years later, I know. It was pure, and true, and more real than anything I'd had. Afterwards it was still light out and we didn't wanna go home yet. We drove down to the small lake just outside town. Up on the hill Theres the big neon love heart. We got out of the pickup, you looked at me and i thought you'd kiss me then. I was disappointed when you didn't. I remember teasing you later for chickening out, but im so glad you didn't, because our first kiss was. We walked out on the small dock and looked at the sunset, and up at the big neon red heart that I swear could have been looking back at us. We held hands. I turned to you and asked, what do you want to do now. You said, this. And kissed me. The water, the sunset, the love I felt for you, it was all so overwhelming i wonder if I imagined it. Nothing outside of a cheesy movie that id hate and youd love, yes I remember that you love rom coms, could be so utterly perfect. I dont think ive ever felt the same pure and almost tangible joy that I felt then since. See you later alligator, after a while crocodile. We always said that. I dont know how it started, being silly I guess. But it was our thing, our inside goodbye. Every night we get off the phone, or as you were leaving in that big pickup. Drive safe, I love you, see you later alligator. I will, I love you, after a while crocodile. I remember when you 'suprised' me for my 18th birthday. Not that it was much of a surprise. You called me for four hours. Claimed you werent driving but I could hear it. When all my friends led me outside and your pickup pulled in I already knew what was happening. But I didnt care, surprise or no, id have given away all the gifts and cake and all just to see you. I let you think you surprised me, you were so proud of yourself. We went bowling, and we fought that night. One of my friends saw you open tinder while it was my turn to bowl. I didnt say anything until we got home. You said it was just because a friend linked you a profile as a joke, and got angry with me for being worried. You tried to leave, to go home, but I followed you. We made up. It hurts me, makes me feel guilty to remember the bad parts. But it also grounds me, to remember ALL of what we had together, not just the heaven parts. It helps me from drowning and choking on the regret of ever letting you go. 2 years. That was all we had together. It was horrible, and amazing. You were so intense about everything. I felt your love intensely, but also your pain, your unhappiness. I felt your pain, and my own pain at not being enough to make you happy. You were so sad, so angry all the time. Angry at your situation, school, having to live at home, your dad, and yourself. I almost think you were addicted to being unhappy. We would be so, so happy. Teasing and giggling together. And then suddenly, like a switch, youd turn. Get depressed, and start complaining about your life. Talk about how much you hate your job, school, your dad, yourself. About how you felt trapped with no way out. God, I wanted to be your way out. I encouraged you to look for other jobs, hell I even looked for you. I tried to make budgets so you could move out. But you never went along with it. The second I started coming up with solutions, youd do a 180 and say how it isnt that bad. But then the next night, it would all start again. I tried baby, I tried so fucking hard. But I just couldnt do it anymore. You were an addict, but your drug was self pity. You were so used to being unhappy that the idea of changing anything scared you. You took your unhappiness out on me, and I'll be honest. I got frustrated. I stopped feeling bad. I tried coming up with solutions, I tried agreeing with you, and most nights I just shut up and tried to do no more than be a listening ear. But i couldnt understand being so unhappy but trying to do literally nothing about it. I started pushing back. We fought almost daily for months. Honestly, i was tired of the complaining. It almost makes me nauseous to say it, but I have no reason to not be honest. And then suddenly to you, I was another problem, another part of your life that sucked, another source of your favorite thing. It was almost like a clock, in the morning we would be so happy. Text all day, tease eachother and being absolutely disgustingly sweet. Plan our life and talk about Nothing too. Then small, stupid, inconsequential things would happen throughout the day, something went wrong at work, your dad made a comment you didn't like, and youd get angrier and angrier. You werent able to let small things slide. Stuff that I wouldnt have thought twice about youd stew on for hours. It would build and build until we started our evening phone call and all you could focus on was how horrible your life was. And I couldnt handle it. If I could go back, id be more patient. I would be more kind. I would put my end of the call on mute and just do something else while you ranted. Anything other than engage with you and allow us to fight. But I was stupid. we would fight for hours. We always made up by the end of the night though. I dont think we ever went to sleep angry. We would both cry and apologize, never admitting that it could possibly be the others fault. Finally, I couldnt handle it anymore. I told myself, just because you love someone, doesnt mean you are right for eachother. I remember sitting on the floor of my dorms laundry room and trying to explain this to you. And jesus Christ, to your credit, you were more understanding than I ever thought you could be. We broke up that night. We decided, now wasnt the right time, you were too unhappy, I was too impatient. We would get back together down the line, when we both had our shit together. But I remember, the last thing you said before we hung up, i dont care what you think, I dont care what you want. I WILL marry you someday. We still talked for a while, but I ended that. We were still acting like we were together. We were 'broken up' but still talking daily like nothing had changed. I decided that in order for anything to happen, we needed time apart. You got angry, and our parting at this point was not good. We texted eachother happy birthdays when they came around and didnt talk for a long, long time. One day I was driving and out of the blue you called me. You were seeing someone else, but had gotten in a fight with her and drove your pickup in a ditch while angry. You had no one to talk to, so you called me. That time, I didnt care how much you complained. You told me everything, and I soaked it all in. I loved hearing your voice, and loved the fact that you called me when you had no one else. I adored you. After that, we didnt talk again for a while. I still loved you so hard, and didnt want to intrude on your new relationship, I wanted you to be happy. One day, i got out of the shower and had a missed call from you. You'd broken up with her. We talked from then on, only as friends. The time apart had done us well. You seemed changed. Happy go lucky again, and I loved hearing your raspy laugh. It was amazing. We still loved each other and weren't afraid to say it. I think it had been months since We'd last talked but neither of us even hesitated to say it, because it was so, so true. You wanted to get back together, I wanted to go slowly. You came to visit me. You brought your big pickup and we went for a drive. We kissed. I wanted you to come up to my dorm room, I wanted to have sex. I'd missed you so much, and stopped caring about going slow. You said no. You knew I wanted to go slow, and that I was just overtaken with how much I missed you, how much I wanted us to be happy again. You were right, and even though I was disappointed I was thankful later. You were so kind. That was the last time I ever saw you. The last time we touched. The last time I heard your voice in person. We talked for a few weeks, but after things became official again it was so easy for you to fall back into the same routines. Its so fucking stupid that I cant even remember what we fought about. If I did, would it help? Would I understand what i was thinking? Would I still agree with myself? Knowing us, it was over absolutely nothing. Something so fucking stupid it literally makes me angry to think about now as I write this. Fucking angry. I am fucking angry. I want to scream and cry and laugh at how ironic it is. I thought I was safe in your words. I WILL marry you. I WILL MARRY YOU. no matter what happened, we were destined to be together. 6 months, a year, 5 years, who knows, you would call me, or we'd run into each other somewhere. We'd both have degrees. You'd have a job you loved, and your own place. Out of your rut. Sober and clean from anger and self pity. And obviously, clearly we would get together. And it would be perfect like it always never was. Do you know how many fucking times I told you to put on your FUCKING SEAT BELT MIKE. DO YOU REMEMBER DRIVING TOO FAST ON THAT FUCKING DIRT ROAD THAT GOES TO YOUR HOUSE DO YOU REMEMBER ME GETTING SCARED DO YOU REMEMBER LAUGHING. I was working nights then. I remember, it was a Tuesday. I'd gotten off at 4 am. Tony called me at 7 am. I almost didn't answer the phone. Mike's dead. Its funny, I literally didn't understand. It was so unfathomable that you could die. How could you die if we were going to get married? I thought it was a distant relative, or a kid from Huntington I didn't know. Mike who? I asked. So fucking stupid. I had to work later that day. I think I was numb, in shock, I don't know. I didn't call out. I went in. I hadnt cried yet. But then I did. I cried in a patient's room while she was gone eating dinner. I finished my shift and I swear the second I left those doors I didnt stop crying for a day straight. I called my mom the next morning sobbing, almost screaming. I have to go to work but I cant stop crying. I cant stop. I dont know what to do. Anne held me. I smoked a shit ton of weed, you wouldnt have liked that, And I stopped sobbing long enough to tell them I couldnt come in. She asked why. I remember thinking that was a stupid fucking question. I told her someone very close to me had died. Someone very close to me. What a dumb thing to say. But what could I say? Mike died. The guy I was supposed to marry? I dont know what we fought about. I remember we were texting. You said something mean, I remember that. And I went off. I sent you a long text. I said this is why we broke up the first time, I said you hadnt changed, I said youd never change. God i was fucking cruel. I hate that part of me, who could ever say things like that. But it didnt matter what happened between us. 5 years. In 5 years id see you, and I WILL MARRY YOU. I never thought that youd fucking die. They say you were speeding and not wearing your seatbelt. I wonder if you were driving that tan car, I think it was your mom's actually? But you used it because you couldn't drive that huge pickup everywhere. I know you had a new girlfriend, she posted on your now 'in memorial' Facebook page counting the exact number of days you knew each other, it was not quite 3 months. I wonder if you had a fight. If you were being reckless because you were high on anger again. Like the night you put your pickup in the ditch and called me. If you'd been wearing your seatbelt, if you'd been fine, I wonder if you'd have called me again. Id have laughed about how this keeps happening, and we'd fall into our same routine. If I hadn't broken up with you, would you be dead? Would you be dead but because you were rage speeding on gravel roads because of a fight WE had? Would I be the one posting the exact number of days I knew you on an in memorial Facebook page? I felt guilty for being so heartbroken. You had a girlfriend and she had more of a right to grieve than me. I had a boyfriend too, of just a couple weeks, and how could I cry over you in front of him? I had no right. So I didn't go to the funeral. You know I don't even know where you're buried. I'll find out. I didnt come to your funeral but I'll come visit you soon, I promise. Im far from home today but I'll be back soon. Buried. God what a fucking disgusting thing to think about. How can you be gone and I'm still here. Who am I supposed to marry now? What happens in five years? It's been two years since you died. I'm still with the guy I was dating when I found out. He's wonderful. But I still think about you all the time. When he's in bed I search facebook messages from 2016 to see if I sent any of my family a picture of us together that I can dig up. I deleted them all when we broke up the last time. I'd kept them a while until a friend pressured me to move on. I took them for granted and now I have none. Two weeks ago I stayed up until 3 am trying to bring up an old phone backup I thought might have some picture of us on it. Nothing. The only photo I have from us is from Idaho. We went on a week long camping trip to go fourwheeling, remember? We're wearing full face helmets, but I can see your eyes. You're smiling. I'll think about you that day. Some random day In 5 years. Would today have been the day? The day I see you and it all falls into place. I cant wait. See you later, alligator. I love you still. Edit: Changed names and locations because more people saw this than expected and I'd prefer to stay anonymous. Thank you for all the support. I apologize if I don't answer a lot of the comments, it's just hard. But feel free to pm me if you need to talk.

Afterward Full movie reviews. This song is similar to one Japanese song. Can someone tell me please? I can't remember.😂😂. Billy Porter was everything when he did that hand clap haha.

 

As a Colts fan, ive never laughed so hard in my life at our seg 😂😂😂. I see Billy Porter I like. Hey its the rebel girl from Rise of Skywalker. I love this song i wanna collab with cudi 💯🐑. 2019 Tom Brady “Wanna see me win another one?”😏 2020 Derrick Henry “No.”. Afterward Full movie. Brilliant just brilliant. Afterward Full movie page. I'll gladly crack some cold ones with you when the McCaskeys are gone. Que hermosa cancion. Afterwards full movie. Afterward Full movie page imdb.

Afterward Full movie database. ♥♡Rachel Mcadams♡♥. Haha this is how we get to see stephen act more like himself. Oh snap I must of time traveled back to 2011. Right, Cam's staying put, at least for one more season, it's the reasonable option. Afterward Full.

 

Coming soon. I am so happy for you!❤️. Everything wrong with is going to tear this movie apart. Afterward full movie. The best animation for me in 2019😭💖. The other guy: yujin's bf Kris(with a smile) me too I died. Naaahhh! gonna go home and watch The Abyss instead. Why am I crying in the club rn. Afterward Full movies. Am I the only one who noticed the dear god cover soundtrack? beautiful. Peter dinklage: I drink and I know things. 3 bottles of Arbor Gold later. peter dinklage: I am Christ. UNLIMITED TV SHOWS & MOVIES SIGN IN Wholesome college freshman Tessa Young thinks she knows what she wants out of life, until she crosses paths with complicated bad boy Hardin Scott. Starring: Josephine Langford, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Selma Blair Watch all you want for free. Voted Drama Movie of 2019 at the People's Choice Awards, it's based on novelist Anna Todd's best-selling "After" series. Additional Videos After More Details Watch offline Available to download This movie is. Romantic Audio English - Audio Description, English [Original] English - Audio Description, English [Original] Subtitles English, Spanish Cast Josephine Langford Hero Fiennes Tiffin Selma Blair Inanna Sarkis Shane Paul McGhie Pia Mia Khadijha Red Thunder Dylan Arnold Samuel Larsen Jennifer Beals Peter Gallagher More TV Shows & Movies Coming Soon.

Rose Byrne must have made a deal with the devil to keep appearing in comedy after comedy while having almost no comedic talent. Looks like a Guy Ritchie/ Quinton Terrantino Movie.



 

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